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Divorce

Divorce

Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage recognized by the authorities. Our law permits divorce for Orthodox Christians only in 4 cases: 1) the inability of one of the spouses to coexist, if this inability arose before marriage; 2) the adultery of one of the spouses must be proven by testimony; 3) unknown absence for at least 5 years; 4) the sentence of one of the spouses is criminal. punishment combined with deprivation of rights. Divorce is filed at the request of one of the parties and is made by the consistory.

Throughout life, the barometer of marital happiness fluctuates extremely unevenly. Still would! There is nothing more fragile than human relationships. It would seem that only yesterday there was love, passion, and today - hatred, indifference and mutual desire to disperse. Before joining their ranks, it will not be superfluous to find out what persistent myths distort our ideas about divorce as such.

Because people learn from the hard experience, remarriage is generally more successful than the first. While many remarried people are happy, remarriage divorce is more likely.

Living together before marriage is a good way to reduce the likelihood of divorce in the future. Many studies have found that those who live together before marriage are significantly more likely to divorce. The reasons for this phenomenon are not fully understood. This is partly due to the fact that the very act of cohabitation leads to a certain type of relationship that is notable for instability. There is a relationship to marriage as something temporary, which can be easily put to an end.

Divorce negatively affects many children, but the effect does not have a long-term effect and children recover relatively quickly. Children from single-parent families are more likely to experience communication problems. Both short-term and large-scale, long-term field studies have proven that these problems are long-lasting. They can even get worse with age.

Having a child increases satisfaction in marriage and helps prevent divorce. Many studies have shown that having a first child causes some tension between spouses. However, compared to childless couples, they have a lower risk of divorce. And yet, in the past, spouses in conflict often stayed together for the sake of their children.

After a divorce, a woman's standard of living drops by 73%, while a man's - increases by 42%. This dramatic imbalance is one of the most widespread statistics. However, it was later discovered that the calculation was not entirely correct. When revising the data, they came to the conclusion that the wealth of a woman decreases by 27%, and that of a man - increases by 10%. Despite the revised figures, the difference remains significant and has not significantly narrowed in recent decades.

If the parents don't get along, it's better for the children to separate than to put up with each other. A recent large-scale study suggests otherwise. While parental disagreements have a dramatic negative effect on the well-being of children, divorce itself has the same effect. The study found that only children from highly conflicted families felt better after divorce. In families with a low level of conflict (and it turned out that in two out of three cases of divorce we are dealing with just this type of family), the state of children after the divorce was much worse. Therefore, with the exception of cases of high conflict, it is much better for children if their parents stay together and look for a way out of this situation.

People who have survived parental divorce are more careful in choosing a marriage partner and are more determined to avoid this mistake. Therefore, their marriages are usually as strong as marriages of children from two-parent families. Marriages of children from single-parent families have a much higher divorce rate than marriages of children from full families. According to a recent study, the main reason is that children adopt the behavior of their parents. Children who have experienced divorce have undermined their sense of commitment to marriage for life.

For children who have survived parental divorce, it is better for their father / mother to start a family again than to remain a single parent. Facts show that remarriage is no better than an incomplete family, even though the father is present in the house and the income level is usually higher. Parental remarriage carries its own problems, such as conflicts between new parents and a very high risk of re-divorce.

If at some point the spouses evaluate their marriage as unsuccessful, this is a clear sign that it will end in divorce. Every marriage experiences ups and downs. A recent national survey found that 86% of spouses who described their marriage as unhappy in the late 1980s, but did not rush to divorce, said they were happier five years later. Indeed, three fifths of the spouses who passed the black streak in family life, later assessed it as "very" or "quite happy".

The divorce process is usually initiated by men. Two thirds of all divorces are at the request of women. A recent study found that one of the reasons for this lies in the legal framework. For example, in most states in America, a woman has a high chance of getting custody of her children. Since this is usually of paramount importance for women, in states where both mother and father have the same rights to a child, the percentage of women initiating a divorce is much lower. This can also be explained by the fact that men "behave badly" more often than women. They, for example, are more likely to experience problems with alcohol, drug use and adultery.

Scandals and conflicts will inevitably lead to divorce. In principle, right. For most people, long-term existence in "storm" mode is impossible. Especially if only one of the spouses is distinguished by a scandalous disposition, and the second plays the role of a buffer. But if both spouses have an explosive temperament, the action may develop differently. And, to the surprise of witnesses, the violent scandals of such couples do not end with a meeting of lawyers, but not with a less violent reconciliation. But it's better to stay away from family showdowns of such couples. This is exactly the case when "husband and wife are one Satan." What can you do, a marriage made in heaven is not always a quiet, cozy nest. It happens that feelings, hardened in family battles, happily survive until the golden wedding.

Late marriages are more durable. It is assumed that with age, a person gains experience, and therefore becomes more tolerant and unassuming. It also seems to us that over the years of "searching and wandering", clear views on living together should have already been formed, tastes and desires regarding the opposite sex should be established. And nevertheless, marriages concluded before the age of thirty are twice as durable as marriages when the spouses are already far beyond ... This is explained by the fact that a mature psyche, indeed, more resistant to life's cataclysms, is at the same time less susceptible to everything new. Over time, a person loses plasticity and it becomes difficult for him to part with his habits and adjust to his partner. And bachelorhood, I must say, is extremely addictive. Whatever they tell us about the joys of family life, marriage is hard work. And if an extravagant youth rushes into the "marriage pool" without looking back, then maturity will think hard, is it worth it to strain.

The largest number of divorces occurs in the first three years of marriage. The first years of marriage are undoubtedly a difficult test for newlyweds. They still know little about family life, but they are ready to fiercely defend their interests. From quarrels shaking a young family, it seems, only two steps to divorce. However, statistics indicate that young spouses do not at all seek to break off their marital obligations. With the loss of love, we become less tolerant. The peak of divorce occurs at 5-9 years old, when the ardor of love passion has already passed, and you want to shake up the hormones. The most dangerous period in the life of a family is when the spouses are between 20 and 35 years old (the period of the most active person). After 35 years, the number of divorces decreases. At this age, Mrs. "Habit" takes power into her own hands.


Watch the video: Do You Really Qualify for Divorce? Michelle Rozen. TEDxNSU (June 2021).